WHEN SHE MARRIED A FOOL…

Abigail had always been a beauty right from childhood and she had grown up fast to be an elegant, charming and intelligent young woman. Being the only daughter, her marriage meant a lot. She had had her fair share of crushes, hopes and dreams of Mr. Perfect.

Dreams though.

One day, her parents called her for a special discussion.

“Aby, things have not been going so well on the farm.”

They had lost livestock to thieves but mainly to the strange disease sweeping through the farms. Many of the servants had escaped and the ones left had little zeal to work. It seemed they were just waiting for the last straw to break the camel’s back.

“We need your help Aby. We need you to marry Nabal.”

A familiar anger crept over Abigail as she remembered the puffy, beet red face of the man. Even if she could get past his face, devoid of any handsomeness, she was not sure she could live with his character. Nabal was known for his mean attitude, hot temper and foul behavior towards any and everyone.

“But papa, what about Jacob? Or even Zachariah? They are young and of better repute than…him. And they are rich too even if not as…”.

“We know. We know how much you desire a perfect love. But we are at our wits end and we really do need Nabal’s help. He already offered lots of livestock and servants once you are married to him.”

Abigail was about to protest again. But she noticed the strain evident on the faces of her parents, she could see the near doom that would overwhelm the family if she refused. She really had no choice.

The wedding was large. Everyone wanted to know who finally saw the ‘good’ in Nabal enough to marry him. Many of Aby’s friends knew there was no love in the arrangement but they knew better than to talk about it to her face. The tears that fell from Aby’s eyes were hot and uncontrollable but she managed to smile through them as she was led to Nabal’s house.

She was determined to pursue her own happiness now that that of her family was settled. Nabal had been lavish in his bride price for her. Her parents farm was back in shape, better than before and with more servants. Abigail got down to shapening up her husband’s house and making the house ready for children.

Months turned into years. No pregnancy. No child. Nabal had brought up the issue many times…always ending with Abigail in tears.

“You are just useless to me! How could I have paid so much for an empty barrel of a woman? Are you even sure you aren’t a man?”

He became more aggressive and lost in alcohol, spending more time outside the house than in. Most of the decisions for the farm were being made by Abigail. The servants had come to trust her and also sympathise with her over her bad luck… Nabal.

“Ma’am, please may I speak with you?”

“Of course Sebiah. You look worried…”

“Yesterday was horrible. You do remember master David?”

Her heart fluttered at the mention of his name. Now, that was one man any woman would desire.

“Yes, how is he?”

“Well, he is probably so vexed right now. He sent some of his men to greet our master yesterday while you were out. Last year, these men took care of us and the livestock when we were out on the field, close to them. They protected us. Even taught us tricks in controlling livestock. If I were the owner of the livestock, I would have rewarded them even while we were out there. But who am I?”

“So, did my husband give them anything?”

“Oh yes. He gave them packaged insults to be delivered to master David”.

Abigail was angry. She ordered some of the servants to load foodstuff and wine and some dried meat. She was not sure David would accept the gifts and her apology. But she would try, again, to save the house from one of Nabal’s blunders.

The other servants waited behind with their hearts in their mouth. They had never been taught how to fight. Nabal was often too drunk to differentiate his sword from a stick. If David and his men descended on them, they were all dead. Dead. Just because their master decided to be foolish just as his name implies. Fool. Fool. Fool.

“Where is my husband?”

Everyone had shouted for joy when Abigail came back, evidence that she had placated David. But no one was ready to volunteer the expected answer to her question. She was in tears already. There was no point telling her that Nabal was last seen clutching a bottle and making a fool of himself on the street.

That night, Nabal came into their bed and tried to touch her. She turned her back away from him and the alcohol stench that clung to him like leprosy. He just laughed and fell asleep, snoring all through the night. Abigail waited for the morning, ready to dish her anger out on him.

“Nabal, you are a fool. You have always been one. You were so close to death and being responsible for the death of innocent lives. But did you know? Of course not! David is much more honorable than you could ever imagine to be.”

She kept talking, letting loose the pent up negative emotions of years as his wife. She did not notice his gasping for breath, profuse sweating and the way he clutched at his chest.

By the time she turned her teary eyes to face the man she had married, he was stone dead.

Some weeks later, a message from David arrived, “Marry me”.
#1Samuel25

#SUCF UCH

#peo.

Dear Husband-to-be,

You may not know me yet, but I am very much alive and not any ‘beautiful one that hasn’t been born yet’. I am a Nigerian of the Yoruba tribe and a Christian. I have decided to write to you today on some pertinent issues concerning when we finally get joined in holy matrimony and start living together as husband and wife.

I am assuming you are also a Nigerian, I am not so sure about your tribe though. But for the purpose of this letter, I would make you a Yoruba man. Remind me to rewrite this part if you end up being from another tribe. Or country (Lord, help!)

First, no matter how rich you are and how generous and kind hearted your parents are, our wedding ceremonies (church and traditional) would be strictly by invitation. I am not stingy or selfish, I just prefer order and organisation to chaos. Besides, we don’t need the whole world as witnesses to validate our union. So, start telling your uncles and aunts who were previously non existent to please remain so. I will convey the same message on my side.

Next up, we must have a “you may now kiss the bride” moment during the church wedding. I mean, why have I been hiding and keeping these luscious lips of mine all these years? And I don’t mean a peck on my cheeks like a 5yr old being kissed by her dad. Don’t worry about the audience, our love is not shy.

When we get to the reception, we have to dance. I don’t mean walking in, clapping and smiling. I am talking about digging dance steps that would even be nothing compared to our joy. We would ensure our DJ has awesome songs to accompany our dance steps. He just would have to keep up with us. We cannot have any dull moment together. I trust you anyway.

After the wedding ceremony, we are married and we continue as the lovers/friends we’ve always been. Nothing like that ‘marriage cloak’ that descends on people and makes them forget all the words and actions that endeared them to each other during courtship. There’s a week allowance for the wedding presents to come in and other such pleasantries after which it is just you, myself and God. We would have our honeymoon which would spread to every day, month and year of our forever after.

We would ensure that we show love to our parents and relatives on both sides. We would visit them, buy them presents and pray for them diligently. But, my love, they must never become a third wheel to our bicycle of marriage. God would use them as blessings to us, yes. But, both of us are Christians, right? We are both filled with the Holy spirit, right? We would listen to God concerning our marriage and if He chooses to speak through our parents and relatives, we would not hastily make decisions without coming together as husband and wife to discuss and pray. We love each other like that.

When the children come, we would love them and teach them everything good. By His grace, we would both have great jobs that we love but we won’t be married to our jobs. We would not make mountains out of molehills. We would talk politely and sort out issues that come up. We won’t make our private matters public, not even to the children.

Please note, we (i.e both of us) have no idea what divorce is. We don’t even know it exists and we can’t even try to understand it. We will stay together indeed till death do us part. Else, we won’t get married at all. You see, the moment we say, “I do”, we make the decision to keep loving, choosing and trusting each other. Just as nothing can separate us from the love of God, nothing can separate us from our love for each other while we are on this blessed earth.

Dear husband to be, there’s a lot more. But, I’ll stop here. Summary is, it would be our wedding. Our marriage. Ours to keep. Ours to love. Ours to build. Ours to make the best of. Ours.

Yours in love, your wife to be.

*****


I am not sure of the exact figures but check up divorce rates in the world and you might just be shocked. It makes me wonder if these people were actually in love before getting married. Or, more scary, i wonder if  love is real. 

Could it be that they never wanted marriage? Maybe they just had to get married because a baby came along. Maybe they had to become husband and wife to help their families and/or businesses. Or were they just under pressure to get married because of their age and the husband/wife was the closest and available option?

Or were they actually in love but their love was not strong enough? Strong to withstand infertility, parental/external interference, financial problems, sickness, death of a child, infidelity, etc?

 Could it be that they never took time to discuss possible issues and controversies that could come up in marriage during their courtship? Like I heard recently, any thing, no matter how little it is, that makes you uncomfortable about your fiance/fiancĂ©e should be addressed during courtship. There’s nothing like, “it would be dealt with later” or “he/she would outgrow it” or worse still, “marriage will take care of it”. Get it taken care of before you say, ‘I do’!

Finally,  do people get divorced just because they are lazy and not ready to make it work? Did they give up on ‘the marriage’ seeing as it had ceased to be ‘their marriage’? 

If you ask people who have gone through divorce why they did, you would get many reasons. You may even get some reasons for which you would totally agree that divorce was the only way out. But, if you listen carefully, you would also discover that some marriages were doomed to fail even before the marriage vows were exchanged. While some others allowed things or people happen to their marriage. 

I think marriages can stand. What do you think?

*****

1. There’s a literary contest worth N100,000 going on by DesignedLife, a blog I am honored to contribute to. Check it out today (http://www.designed.life/designed-life-literary-awards/) and send in your entry.

2. I really appreciate you for reading and sharing, liking and commenting on my blog. It means a whole lot.

3. Next up, 1Samuel25.

#peo